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today's our last CCA day.

can. you. believe. it?!

no i cant. And it's hurting so much as I try to tell myself that it is over for real. I'd miss the experience very much. I love getting pumped, getting screamed at, changing into our no4 in less than 7 mins, suffocating in my no3, risking a heat stroke in no4, doing pt in no4, doing 5bx, running, cheering, abraisons. I miss being a cadet when everything is a learning process and we're talking about life in ncc like it's never going to end.

I'd never forget the times we had as partCs. There were moments so real. Even though it was physically enduring, I'd give all to have the same experiences again, the pumpings on car park grounds, the cuts and bruises from the no4 boots, the tears, the weariness turned into satisfaction, the disappointments turned into motivations, the heat, the hope, spec course, senior spec course, hqncc, freestyle nationals, west champions. I miss turning the resentment into love, into passion, into hoping that it'd never end.

Then comes the experience we remember so fresh, the day we took over as specialist, the day we waved goodbye to our cadet lives, the day we knew soon, all this was going to be over. Specialist life to me was a string I could cling on to. Once my specialist life ends, the string breaks and I'd fall away from NCC. Yes, it was tiring, it was so shocking that specialist life doesnt seem as fantastic as it looks. It was stressful, heartbreaking and yet fufilling in many ways.

It's kind of heart wrenching to know that the day I'd never forget most is tuesday. When we conducted the final last parade, we banged our loudest, shouted our commands loud and clear and tried to make as little mistakes as possible. We wanted to make this final performance the best rehearsal we ever had. Like how the previous CCA days were just practices for the last, when we had to drop all pretenses we had to each other, to the company and pour out all the true emotions we had- to display the pride and love we have for NCC.

Today, I had tried in many ways not to cry so that partBs may stand strong. Hopefully, it wouldnt be a sad departure for them. What stands unchanged is that our last CCA day has ended and there's never going to be another. Yet, I hope delta never becomes a part of our past memories, forgotten and emotionless.

Delta, I love you.