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today's our last CCA day.

can. you. believe. it?!

no i cant. And it's hurting so much as I try to tell myself that it is over for real. I'd miss the experience very much. I love getting pumped, getting screamed at, changing into our no4 in less than 7 mins, suffocating in my no3, risking a heat stroke in no4, doing pt in no4, doing 5bx, running, cheering, abraisons. I miss being a cadet when everything is a learning process and we're talking about life in ncc like it's never going to end.

I'd never forget the times we had as partCs. There were moments so real. Even though it was physically enduring, I'd give all to have the same experiences again, the pumpings on car park grounds, the cuts and bruises from the no4 boots, the tears, the weariness turned into satisfaction, the disappointments turned into motivations, the heat, the hope, spec course, senior spec course, hqncc, freestyle nationals, west champions. I miss turning the resentment into love, into passion, into hoping that it'd never end.

Then comes the experience we remember so fresh, the day we took over as specialist, the day we waved goodbye to our cadet lives, the day we knew soon, all this was going to be over. Specialist life to me was a string I could cling on to. Once my specialist life ends, the string breaks and I'd fall away from NCC. Yes, it was tiring, it was so shocking that specialist life doesnt seem as fantastic as it looks. It was stressful, heartbreaking and yet fufilling in many ways.

It's kind of heart wrenching to know that the day I'd never forget most is tuesday. When we conducted the final last parade, we banged our loudest, shouted our commands loud and clear and tried to make as little mistakes as possible. We wanted to make this final performance the best rehearsal we ever had. Like how the previous CCA days were just practices for the last, when we had to drop all pretenses we had to each other, to the company and pour out all the true emotions we had- to display the pride and love we have for NCC.

Today, I had tried in many ways not to cry so that partBs may stand strong. Hopefully, it wouldnt be a sad departure for them. What stands unchanged is that our last CCA day has ended and there's never going to be another. Yet, I hope delta never becomes a part of our past memories, forgotten and emotionless.

Delta, I love you.

am not emo alert.

there's a physics test on Wednesday and chem prac test in a week's time. tmrw we're going to get back our chem test from the start of the term (which i think i'm going to fall way below expectations). now tell me, how am i going to look forward to tmrw?? sigh, OK Marie Digby's songs cheer me up to the max.

shall post pictures of the launch of CLing when i'm freeer. tired like mad and hoping i'd sleep by 10pm!! currently, i just feel grumpy like a bitch.

it's those shitty kinds of apologies you have to make when you're sure you did something wrong but cannot pin-point what it really is. Then hoping that the person would just tell/scold/scream at you rather than keep quiet. It just makes me feel much worse.

):

have such a lovely family hehehe ;D

recently, we took a lot of pictures because of my sister's party+my brother's party+many more outings tgt so it's cool. i keep looking at how pretty those pictures are. xp

it's sad when the only time families get to really introduce themselves is when they say goodbye. imagine, "Goodbye, i'm Shereen and hopefully you'd remember me." What if, alternatively, we get to know each other from the very beginning by going through the painful yet meaningful process of realising, understanding and then accepting. Wont it be much better to do that and spend the rest of the time loving each other?

Sometimees, people forget how easy it is to lose a person.

credits to: unknown (whoever this belongs to, tag me and i'd credit you okok!!)

This cartoon is supposed to show consideration but the bunny looks evil...but we've all been talking about not judging people by their looks yes? Anyw that's not really my point today. School was really slack today. We officially started classes at 11.20am so you can imagine~ it's been PE (bball), history (no tch=more bball sessions), recess (not hungry+save money budget=more bball) so it's been basically bball till recess. (Y) I like like crazy heehee!!

Just completed my SS E-L homework. It was super demoralising when I saw that "refer to all sources" but it turned out okay! So to all those procrascinating, "IT'S OK ALRIGHT ;D" I would very much prefer going to school after looking at the very long list of terribly complicated E-L homework. YET, sleeping in, being able to have breakfast slowly, read and use my ipod as and when kind of does hold temptations. :D

This post is getting so boring xp.

weekends were so disneychannel like. they were full of sunshine, fun and picture takings. :)
went for AYG games on the 4th and 5th-the first is a basketball finals and the second is a beach vball finals.

both were really really cool; although bball had a lot more action and excitement. In my impression, Phillipines and Iran (i think??) played the best. They are freaking fast in their motions. :O

for vball there was hot sun, sandy seats and hours long breaks. so for our lunch breaks, we toured that part of sentosa and visited fort siloso. pictures speak a thousand words so here is how we spent our day! ;D

hi all,

when you say something you should mean it. whether it is giving advise or making a stand, you shouldnt say yes and then mean no because it'd be a really mean thing to do. besides, what if somebody counted on your words to give them courage and assurances? wont you be cheating then?

cheers, cariokay.

HI./been reading a few people's blogs and didnt think it was very interesting but i noticed something cool. Most of those bloggers bothered to greet their readers- "hi" "hello" "hello everybody" while those who proclaim their blogs to be better than the rest didnt have the basic courtesy. So even if my blog's not very cool, not a very good read, i'm still going to be polite. (Y)

I was really meaning to put a picture here, then start blogging about first day of school. now, it seems like eons ago. I mean, i just had a chem test and it's only the first week of school.

My brain's screwed, seriously. All i ever think about is what to do the next minute, the next hour, the next day or the next week. Or when i'm working on something, i'm thinking, "what if it failed?" "what if i didnt do it good?" when HELLO, IF YOU DONT EVER GET FOCUSED INTO DOING WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING, LIKELY CHANCES ARE YOU'D FAIL.

Overwhelmed as most part of me am, the bigger problem is, my brain has yet to register that.

-

If you've read till here, good but this post is probably going to be really thoughtful and thus, long. So you can stop here if it really pains you to read miniature words off a screen. Firstly, I've thought about it quite long and have read it in numerous books. Probably none has actually screamed the words but the underlying message is obvious enough. Which is, you can learn from anybody and anything (and that includes shitty people/things e.g. boring lessons) So if we really put humility in our life, I guess we can learn a lot more.

Secondly, I recalled from the Davinci exhibit that "being willing to do is not enough, you've to do it" or smth along those lines. I linked it to the fact that action speaks louder than words. We can say, plan, think, dream but it's never going to materialise if we do not step out of the bubble/comfort zone we live in and do something about it. I've wanted to learn cross stitch and knitting but today only is when i finally hooked up with resources and get down to planning a "lesson". "courage is feeling the fear but doing it anyw" so being without fear does not make you courageous, rather it makes you a failure cos you've never really lived. So from today, I'm going to be courageous. :)

Lastly, I'm going to do a photo collage in my room with many many memories. Hopefully it'd remind me of what i had and what could have been, thus motivating me to create more happy memories with my loved ones alr. I'm also going to start reading nytimes.com. NOTE: if you've plenty of time at home, THIS IS A GOOD READ. (Y)(Y)

am going to read NY TIMES and consolidate CID4+LA stuffs.

P.S. SHEREEN, RMB TO LOG ON FACEBOOK LATER!!