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First times bring panic attacks

The night before i was having sweaty palms, constant frowns and insonmia all because today is the first day of term 3. TRUST ME. First times to anyth gives me the above even tho i've had first days in school for forever. Afterall, i'm alr in year4 aint I? :o



First day was:

1. OK, stressful. realised there's a math test on 13th July and chem test this friday. Joy to the world~ who'd have thought this was the first day of sch?!



2. looked at developed pictures from Shermaine's party. My dear sister developed a million useless (i.e. blurred and meaningless) pictures multiple times. Now I've about 5 blurred pictures of tennis buddies, 2 pictures of nobody's face, 5 shots of replicated pictures of the same family etc. you get my gist~



3. am going to read digital fortress cos it's the coolest. (Y) although i think davinci code is a lot more informative and challenging. still, the action is more in digital fortress.



OK GOING TO READ BYEBYE EVERYBODY. :)

Thanks for the stupid times we've had together.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SISTER! ;D
"Having a sister is like having a best friend you cant get rid of. you know that no matter what you do, they'll still be by your side."
-edited from Amy Li.

with you, i've had complaints, upsetness with god, heated arguments, occasional screamings and insensible fights for the sake of my pride. yet, no matter how those are happening and will still happen, it's from the depths of my heart when i tell you i'm happy to have you as my sister; when i tell you how fortunate to be able to confide in you, talk to you; or when i tell you, i love you.

Thanks lovelies for helping!


The girl beside my sister is very pretty right!!
Her smile is sweet, and the good thing is that, she's always smiling.(Y)

THIS PICTURE IS DARMNED FUNNY HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
plus, shirleen looks epic chio here!!
very failed picture.
the party yesterday was crazy okokok. i started preparing at 4pm and the party went on until 12.30pm. nonetheless, it was good (Y)

spent the afternoon setting up guest table, taking pictures, camwhoring, blowing balloons and going crazy hahahahhahahahha. I love balloon, they're so floaty and colourful! :D alvin and wesley look like uncles selling newspapers, no offence xp. thanks much for your helps anyw. :)

then there was food+cake+games. didnt eat any food+cake, and i didnt dare to tell my mum lest she laughs or scolds me for not eating. had no appetite okok! too much air. games were not bad. most of them were cooperative and supportive so (Y) i like i like! to add on with cute little girls/boys, good music, crazy times and floatly balloons, the party was awesome! ;D
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tag replies:

Nicholas- HI OKOK. :D
Joycelin- I DIDNT! but i alr know the ending ley xp would it ruin the suspense? hahahahahha.
Bluerabbitz- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA YOU (Y)


walt disney said: keep moving forward
[edited. 5.26pm]
10 things I want to do before holiday ends :)
1. get a big wallpaper to put all my pictures over the past years.
2. charge my camera so i can take millions of pictures tmrw during the party!
3. finish reading my ever-piling newspapers
4. customise a notebook as birthday present/keep it for myself
5. complete my cross stitch ASAP
6. arrange tennis meet ups for school reopen!
7. start on NYAA skills
8. start practising my guitar
9. set up a book portal
10. finish odyssey+borrow digital fortress!
11. read god of small things
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school's going to start next week unless MOE decides to extend holidays;
am not dreading it as much as most people do. :D

holidays have been (Y). visited various museums and science centre serveral times, viewed cool exhibits, done a few CIPs, read davinci code, watched lots of movies+dvds, sweated at tennis. felt; i felt self-doubt and crummy, felt eeky and sticky all over like i'm dying for a bath, felt guilty for slacking the day away, not studying, felt imperfect. did; read inspirational quotes, recalled what it was like chionging for mye, how it felt to have fufiled my goal, did many plannings (but no actions).

usually the best come out of accidents, dont you think? the most well-planned itenary becomes not as good as what we imagined them to be, dont you think?

Are you OK?
the pictures that arrived late hahahhahaha.
picnic with delta!
my hair was curling in a very horrible manner. :/


HI. HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA.
joycelin looks too normal to be commented about!
eeyer come to think of it, i've never shopped, thrashed out, had crazy sad times with you. we're the most normal combi. :) maybe next time we can do CIP together? hahaha!


we took like damn a lot of pictures because i keep looking screwed but shuwei looks in same in all pictures!


anyw you are very funny+very cute okay! stop thinking the worst of yourself. :) maybe next time when we go shopping, you'd be the one making me buy smth instead of the other way round hahhahahhahaha.


qiaowei uh thinks she looks cute here.


deluded little girl, hahahahhah thanks for being there everytime i feel down or when i just wna talk. you've been an amazing friend cum joke. I (L) you ok! if you ever need me, i'll be here ok! (a phone call away, an email away etc you get my gist hahahaha) am still thinking about attending clt course, but i know if i do, you'd be there yes? :) im'ma crazy buddy 1314.

valerie looks freaking cute here!!

we've had our bitch fights+gossip sessions+thrash outs but no matter what, I (L) you. rmb the fun fun thailand trip, horribly long yet very funny busrides, scary hotels (ok, maybe only scary to me), thailand flies, oily breakfast and crazy shoppings! we must do it again okokok. :D


Shirleen+Shereen=twins. (aiyo I lose out)
hahahhahahahha just kidding!


this picture is too dark, we both look camouflaged. :/ you've been an awesome friend! although we had been bitchy about each other before, but what's friendship without bitchfights? rmb the tiring inspire cip, ncc cip, ranting sessions, thrash out sessions in thailand, thailand flies+bus conductor picture!
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science centre trip with family v v long time ago.
i think this has a slight resemblance to smth. :/
it looks darmned scary.
amusing yes no? hahahhahahahhahaha.
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Museums with Qiaowei and Shirleen. :)


Macdonalds on the left, esplanade on the right.

mmm never seem to get directions right xp

Behind is an exhibit with a man lying on the ground with a chain around his neck, like a dog.

I dont really get the story behind. The gist is, this person+his dog are so close that they fuse as one. (???)



cute graffiti at the back. There were little stick figures!
the camera in the foreground is shirleen's coughcoughcough. :)

playground for kids :O

we took most pictures at SAM heheh at ACM, the Kangxi exhibit was quiet and solemn so we couldnt possibly be going crazy with snapshots and flashes yes? hahahh. I saw many famous exhibits during the holidays, i.e. Davinci the Genius, Kangxi Emperor, The Unguarded Moment. It was cool, although to be very frank, I dont get the expressions in SAM.

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zeek, okok cant wait for school to reopen and for a new set of activities to arrive.

NYAA+CID4 :)


you mean the world
i'm never good with words. I cant create the most sentimental paragraph to express the heart-felt emotions.

Delta, you've meant the world to me and you always will. You create the real feelings- love, hate, sadness, sorrow, happiness, craziness etc.

I'm afraid that after we step down, we're going to walk past each other like we've never mattered to each other, like we're never a big part of each other's life. I'm afraid we'd become mere hell0-bye friends.

I feel fortunate to have been able to know you girls. I hope that after we step down, our love would go on, as strong and never forgotten.

what if everybody is a miracle to cover up for my flaws?
schools are starting. i havent finished a million holiday homework. i'm supposed to be asleep or else i'd be grumpy and frustrated tomorrow. i'm sad i'm going to rod. there's so many things that i'm unhappy about. of course, i can easily change them by doing something logical and meaningful instead of whining at this post. however, once in a while, it feels good to not be in control- to let things come and overwhelm you.


i'm sitting here feeling a damp heart. it's not being teenage moody. it's the feeling below someone else. maybe it's jealousy? i feel inferior. i'm not as pretty, as smart, as sociable, as confident, as funny, as... amazing in every single way. when people look at you, then at me, what do they think? that you must be the miracle to cover up for such a loser i am?


it's suffocating to have these emotions heaped up in me. everybody thinks it's not like me, it's not shereen, it shouldnt be so. maybe you've never known the me when i display my emotions, honest and frank, right in your face. maybe you've never known that i love fairytale endings; you've never known that i love art; maybe you've never known that i yearn for people to love me for who i am, when i'm stripped down to the very end, raw.


i'm just trying to tell the world out there, whoever's reading, that everybody (no matter how pretty, how smart, how sociable, how confident, how funny etc you are) needs encouragement. they need to know that someone sees the good they're doing. they need love.

romeo, I want to be your juliet.
museums=a lot of unneccessary walking+fun+crazy photoshoots. :) we took the above at PhotoID. went out with qiaowei and shirleen today. although i was melting under the sweltering heat, it turned out funny! we went to the ACM, kangxi exhibit (in acm) and SAM. SAM was cool except that I couldnt understand how the painting relates to "difficulties of women" ?! still, cool.

tmrw is temple visit+library+movies+meeting with cousins! am looking forward to it; joy to the world. ;D will update with more pictures when I'm in the mood. :)

Feeling like a rotten apple. (N)
feeling like a rotten apple. ):
the below is my time schedule for today and I cant figure out which part tells me I've been slacking.
still, i feel like a rotten apple. must be the weather.


8.30am: visited the doctor because of a rash outbreak
9.30am: read newspapers
11am: started on math
12noon: lunch
12.30pm: read blogs+msn chats
1pm: math ace learning assignment
3pm: looked up gv+bookstork.lj
3.45pm: new radio; helped set up; found out it worked; went crazy
4pm: math differentiation+integration
5.20pm: blogging+nearly dead


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going for movies+roadshow+museums; cant wait!!

Your smile catches my breath.
say it again for me.
it's like the whole world stops to listen.

I just wrote in my diary so this blog post is going to be random, spammed with nonsensical stuffs and sleepy. currently waiting for my printer to finish printing all my chinese holiday homework. :O

anyw Marie Digby is a lovely singer+writer. Her songs are resounding with emotions. Every single part of her lyrics seem to convery a message. Certain parts of her lyrics made me think of the last time someone said smth that brings everyth to a standstill, letting me swallow within the meaning of the words and dives deep into my heart. If I were to randomly think of one now, it's difficult so hahahahhahaahahahaha leave it to another day.

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Heartbeat concert was (Y) the dances were amazing. There are a whole array of them, although there are a few that were repeated. Generally, the venue, procedure, MCs, performances etc were awesome!:D Nearly the entire 4H were there and everybody looks like a superstar ok. I was wearing simple jeans shorts, sailor tanktop, white overcoat and my school bag. To be fair, my school bag matches my outfit ok! And everybody else was wearing heels, dresses, carrying handbags, miniskirts, etc etc etc superstar!!! :O

ok need to sleep.
Inspire CIP tmrw.
kind of dreading.

NCC-LAKESIDE FSC CIP@Macritche
Our first ever DELTA CIP. : )))))


It's with lakeside FSC. The kids were typically kids- difficult to manage, restless, cute and still very difficult to manage.


The only game they are ever interested in is catching, or any other games related to catching. e.g. freeze and melt, virus etc etc.


It's kind of funny. hahahahah I alr forgot the names of these days until the point when I heard them ask for it and I recall how popular these games are.
Motherly CIP leader.
it's amazing! this CIP brings out the motherly, loving, caring, doting etc sides of NCC GUYS+GIRLS you've never seen before!!

Valerie.

Feei.


I love your bag. it's darmned chio+ex.

I remember shirleen said smth about feei being expensive, what with the River Island jeans, branded bag and high human value. HAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHA.


Liqin.
OK LIQIN'S DIFFERENT. She's alr our delta mama.

HI MAMA~

Had a loads of fun with Delta. : ))))
The biggest hiccup is that majority of the games- perhaps all, were too "disciplined" for the kids. :/ OK, MUST ORGANISE BETTER GAMES NEXT TIME.


P.S. the pics came late because I'm very lazy.